My anxiety triggers

Most people suffer from anxiety in their life, though some people are prone to it more than others. I am going to list my anxiety triggers then describe how I feel when anxiety hits me. I will also outline my coping strategies.

Anxiety Triggers:

• Large groups of people - I often get drowned out in large groups and feel unable to speak.
• The fear of being judged in a bad way - being a victim of bullying has made me more paranoid about being myself freely, which makes me anxious.
• Interviews - I am currently seeking a job, so I want interviews but because I fear that I will mess them up I tend to get anxious.
• Change - I can get too comfortable in a set routine and become anxious when it is changed.
• The fear of being late - I hate being late, especially when it is unavoidable. (damn buses!!) 
• Fear of rejection - I fear rejection from people, which causes me anxiety which causes me to pull away from people, it is a vicious circle. 
• The future - I get anxious about the future as I have not settled into a career yet. 

When anxious I tend to feel ill, very hot, with a bad migraine. Anxiety often makes me start to hate myself and then the negative thoughts start to take over my mind. 

My coping strategy is trying to relax. Music can help me but reading or playing a video game also helps distract my mind. It usually depends on the type of anxiety. On the bus I read to stay relax, but at home I tend to blast metal music in my headphones when feeling down. The way I see it is that anxiety is a sign that you care and that it is not a sign of weakness. Lupin in Harry Potter tells Harry that fearing Dementors does not make him weak. Lupin describes the fear of Dementors as fearing fear itself, which Lupin called very wise. 

Living with Aspergers

Greetings people on this fine early Saturday morning. I have decided to share with you what it is like being me. I am not going to lie and say it it easy living with Aspergers, it is not easy. Having some special interests is cool but I lack the social skills to find people who share my interests.

Life has  improved slightly as I now have some friends who I can chat to online, or meet up with in town, but I lack to know how to find and make more good friends. Nobody is perfect and my imperfection is my weak social skills. The few friends I do have do understand my difficulties and accept me for who I am. However, there are many who will see me as too abnormal to be associated with, which is th  fear that drives my social anxiety. I have a fear of being judged all the time, plus I fear being a victim of bullying again.


My biggest issue in recent years has been self hate; the feeling that I am worthless. I know that it is not true but my past experiences of being tormented and bullied have implanted negative thoughts about myself in my mind. I try to keep telling myself that it is fine to be me. I love to read books, I love watching Doctor Who, I am super excited about the new Hobbit movie and I like learning new facts.

I spend a lot of my time alone not by choice but because I need to recharge. When out and about I try to keep my head up and walk with confidence, the next step will be to start smiling out strangers. I do try and stay positive and not to feel down too often. Sorry if I am rambling.It is very difficult to explain what it is like inside my head.

Mood Swings and Rant on Stereotyping

As well as having aspergers I also suffer from anxiety and have a lot of mood swings. I can go from really happy to very sad in seconds. Often it happens for no reason, but I suspect that underlying emotional problems are the trigger for me. For example, I find out about an awesome book to read and I get hyped up, but then I realise I have few people to talk to about this new book that I start feeling sad. In some circumstances the mood swing can result in me feeling unhappy and depressed. Also, I often start feeling ill when I am really down.

My methods of dealing with mood swings is simply trying to relax and return my mood back to neutral. I do have a problem with over thinking, which causes me to have anxiety attacks and severe mood swings.

My next topic is stereotyping, which I hate. In the modern world people are too quick to judge. The groups often targeted by judgmental people are: teenagers, geeks, emos, women, people with physical or mental disabilities and politicians. As a person who is on the Autistic Spectrum and a little geeky, I have experienced stereotyping first hand. I was a hard working student at school and labelled a geek, but in a negative way.

I would argue that there has been a huge change in ways different people are viewed. Anybody who does nor follow the crowd are often immediately stereotyped, despite the fact that all innovations in technology are created by people who think in a different way. For example, Bill Gates helped to create Microsoft Windows, and he possibly has aspergers and would have been labelled a geek at school. However, many people struggle to ignore negative judging people and live an unhappy life.

On the other hand, people who consider themselves geeky or emo are starting to fight back by reclaiming the terms geek and nerd, and turning them into positive terms. Moreover, the problems facing the world today require new solutions rather than the status quo. People need to value intelligent people or people who see the world differently, as they are the ones capable of saving our beloved planet.